Between Consenting Adults...and The Church?: A Reflection
When it comes to our personal lives, friends, family members and sometimes even strangers find it necessary to comment on specific aspects of our lives, and how they think we ought to be living it. Sometimes, we admit to needing that kind of direct advice, and sometimes it really isn’t something we want to hear, or even care to know. What then when the Church issues different guidelines or teachings to us that generally relate to our lives? While many of us may comb through the internet to read varied sources of ‘expert’ advice related to love, dating, relationships, and family life, we often do not see the Church as one of these experts, and even overlook what the Church brings into the discussion. Yet the Church continues to encourage us on in our search for the truth, for happiness and for the restoration of our dignity, including the dignity of our sexuality.
The Church’s position on human sexuality has often been misunderstood and misinterpreted. Particularly since for us, we cannot remove the unitive meaning of sex from its procreative meaning. While we still continue to grapple with this seemingly “out of touch” reality of the Church, it can still be agreed, at least to some extent, that sex ought to have greater meaning than pleasure-seeking behaviour between two consenting adults. I think we can also agree that many of us still believe that there ought to be some level of affection or commitment between those persons. In his early writings on human sexuality, St John Paul II reminded us that love cannot be love without responsibility, which is, recognizing that to love means to also will our actions, thoughts and behaviours for the better of the other, rather than for the self, or selfish gains. When we remove sex from the responsibility of love, we open ourselves to the possibility of undermining the dignity of the other, placing our momentary desires above the good of the other person.
Further to this, when we enter into discussions of sexual behaviours and the use of contraception, we too are sharing our reflections in light of the dignity that is deserved of each person. As Pope Francis commented while in the Philippines to thousands of gathered pilgrims, the Church has not sent us out to reproduce like rabbits, but to enter into the mutual act of self-giving in a natural and responsible way. What this means for us, is not the use of artificial contraceptive devices-which divorce the unitive and procreative meaning of sex from a couple-but rather the use of natural family planning which allows the couple to work with the natural processes of the body to assist in family planning. In fact, natural family planning methods have been just as, if not more effective for couples who use this approach in the planning of their family (Attar et al, 2002). This approach also allows the couple to better learn and understand the human body, and deepen a sense of love, respect and awe for the natural reproductive process of the body. In many ways, typical contraceptives act as medications to treat the condition of our fertility, whereas natural family planning positions itself as a means through which couples work alongside the beauty of their fertile and infertile periods to assist in their planning of pregnancies. In his early writings before becoming Pope, St John Paul II wrote, “Contraception violates the very purpose and nature of the human sexual act, and therefore violates the dignity of the human person,” while natural family planning promotes the enculturation of the inherent dignity of the couple.
Additionally, were we to consider the implications of the long-term effects of contraceptive tools on our health, this would allow us to enter into even richer conversation. Certainly all the science has not conclusively branded that these are the outcomes, but existing research and writings point to some startling health risks, particularly for women. For example, studies that indicate long-term use of the pill has been linked to the development of different types of cancer among women at an earlier age (World Health Organisation, 2005; Guttmacher Institute, 2011). Persons who utilize some types of the pill have also been noted to develop blood clots in different parts of their body, some even dying for this. Let us also consider methods of contraception which also impact women’s fertility after long-term usage. For example, studies indicate women who have developed lower levels of fertility after the use of contraceptive methods which allow them to have only two – three periods a year. Putting aside these potential negative and long-lasting effects of these methods to the reproductive and general health of those who utilize them, let us also consider something even greater than these risks; these contraceptive tools, which have been developed over years also seem to point to an interesting idea, although not consciously stated, it posits that our fertility is something that ought to, at all times, be treated until suitable to one or both parties.
Contrary to popular belief, the Church agrees that our sexuality and reproductive health are both beautiful and loved. We also promote helping couples to plan the families that they desire, while not separating them from the true meaning of sex, which both unites the couple and opens them to the possibility of new life. There are many things we ought to consider in our discussions of reproductive health, and while the Church does not necessarily involve herself with all that happens behind closed doors, she does continue to offer and share her advice in the promotion of our inherent dignity.
